I figured out that I don't like the word 'sober.'
You know, our brains are amazing organs. Storing billions of bits of information, in the form of words, images, emotions...
And every word carries it's own power, doesn't it? Some words have very little power.
"Shoehorn."
Nothing.
"Rape."
Very powerful.
And the word that's on my mind currently...well, to be honest, pretty much constantly.
"Sober."
It brings to mind tall thin men in black suits. Tight-bunned librarians, shushing me to stop talking. Grim faced physicains, delivering bad news.
If I performed a differential diagnosis on the word sober, I'd have to say: quiet, serious, grim, important, grave, solemn, sedate, somber.
Did the temperature just go down a few degrees in here?
Let me backtrack...everyone who drinks alcohol to the point of 'getting buzzed' doesn't do it so that they can achieve a greater degree of maturity (despite what most 16 year olds think). It's to relax, loosen up, feel happy.
Feel happy. Damn, there go those feelings again. (see my last post.)
We all start out drinking to feel good. And we choose to stop drinking because ultimately, we feel bad.
If I had to characterize my last bout with booze, I'd describe it as 'grim.'
Nauseauted, humiliated, defeated, dehydrated...no party here, that's for sure.
I wish I could turn back the clock and quit drinking at age 27. But alas, I wasn't that fortunate. I 'got it' late. But thank God, I 'got it' at all. I chose to put down the glass, and pick up my life.
And how do I feel now? Now that I'm 'sober?'
I feel...light, airy, free. Happy, silly, hopeful, grateful, excited, flamboyant (well, I was always flamboyant, only now there are no messy police reports involved.)
I certaintly do not feel 'sober.' And to add insult to injury, there is the full term: "Clean and Sober." Great, so now I'm clean. I'm not dirty, I wash myself! Actually, I always washed myself. I wash myself more than most. You could eat lunch off my left foot. (But call first.)
So what is the deal here? Must I categorize myself in such a way that I feel like I was a previously happy, but dirty person? And now thankfully, I'm 'sober'....but clean?
Hmm.
We need new words, we need new labels.
Anyone?
You know, our brains are amazing organs. Storing billions of bits of information, in the form of words, images, emotions...
And every word carries it's own power, doesn't it? Some words have very little power.
"Shoehorn."
Nothing.
"Rape."
Very powerful.
And the word that's on my mind currently...well, to be honest, pretty much constantly.
"Sober."
It brings to mind tall thin men in black suits. Tight-bunned librarians, shushing me to stop talking. Grim faced physicains, delivering bad news.
If I performed a differential diagnosis on the word sober, I'd have to say: quiet, serious, grim, important, grave, solemn, sedate, somber.
Did the temperature just go down a few degrees in here?
Let me backtrack...everyone who drinks alcohol to the point of 'getting buzzed' doesn't do it so that they can achieve a greater degree of maturity (despite what most 16 year olds think). It's to relax, loosen up, feel happy.
Feel happy. Damn, there go those feelings again. (see my last post.)
We all start out drinking to feel good. And we choose to stop drinking because ultimately, we feel bad.
If I had to characterize my last bout with booze, I'd describe it as 'grim.'
Nauseauted, humiliated, defeated, dehydrated...no party here, that's for sure.
I wish I could turn back the clock and quit drinking at age 27. But alas, I wasn't that fortunate. I 'got it' late. But thank God, I 'got it' at all. I chose to put down the glass, and pick up my life.
And how do I feel now? Now that I'm 'sober?'
I feel...light, airy, free. Happy, silly, hopeful, grateful, excited, flamboyant (well, I was always flamboyant, only now there are no messy police reports involved.)
I certaintly do not feel 'sober.' And to add insult to injury, there is the full term: "Clean and Sober." Great, so now I'm clean. I'm not dirty, I wash myself! Actually, I always washed myself. I wash myself more than most. You could eat lunch off my left foot. (But call first.)
So what is the deal here? Must I categorize myself in such a way that I feel like I was a previously happy, but dirty person? And now thankfully, I'm 'sober'....but clean?
Hmm.
We need new words, we need new labels.
Anyone?
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